3500

Nicht gelistet/Not listed

Courtesy Kallir Research Institute, New York

Purgstall an der Erlauf

19th Sept. 1916 (handwritten)

Pencil on paper

24 x 19,5 cm

[Translation:]

Purgstall [scored out: October] September 19, 1916.
And now it’s not raining and I’m still not going
out. Because out there among other people I feel
even more lonely than here in my room,
alone with Lord. [1] Why can I not accept
– that it can’t be any different than it is, that
it would be best to wait patiently; I feel
so sorry for Egon, he who has always been so used to the
freest life, is trapped, worse than a workman,
treated as a number, he, who was used
to being admired for his talent. –
Outside on the street two women are fighting, their shrieking
and squabbling penetrates into my room, how lucky they are
to have so much time and so many words to lose over such trifles
like the ones they’re squabbling about.
– – Today is a bad day for me, my
mood is crushing me, I am trying to
get it under control – I already know
I won’t succeed. I don’t have the slightest desire
to do any activity whatsoever, everything, everything
disgusts me – I want to sleep – if
I could – – May this war soon
||
come to an end – then everything will be
well again.

[1] Edith and Egon Schiele’s dog.

Vollständige Transkription abgedruckt in:
Edith Schiele: „Das Tagebuch. ‚Ich werde dieses Buch nicht Tagebuch heißen, – sondern Trostbuch‘“, in: Zeiten des Umbruchs. Egon Schieles letzte Jahre 1914–1918, hrsg. von Kerstin Jesse/Jane Kallir/Hans-Peter Wipplinger, Wien 2025, S. 50–77 (Ausst.-Kat. Leopold Museum, Wien, 28.03.–13.07.2025).

Courtesy Kallir Research Institute, New York