3456

Nicht gelistet/Not listed

Courtesy Kallir Research Institute, New York

Prague

21st June 1915 (handwritten)

Ink on paper

24 x 19,5 cm

[Translation:]

Monday, June 21, 1915 12h noon
First day alone – it’s miserable!
As soon as I parted from you (I couldn’t
turn around to look at you, otherwise I would’ve
started sobbing) I went to our room
as quickly as I could, and there
I cried – cried for I don’t even know how long.
One thing I do know, though, is th.[at] I am
feeling absolutely bereft. – I am in a desolate
mood; ideally, I would, if it
didn’t look so utterly ridiculous,
stand outside the barracks continually,
waiting until I catch a glimpse of you; I was
already there once, of course no sign of you,
how could I be so childish.
Nevertheless, I’ll go back again later
perhaps my inconsolable, pleading
eyes will draw you to one of the windows –
for I just want to see you – it would already
make me feel better.
||
7h30 in the evening
Once again nothing – once again, I didn’t
see you – or perhaps you aren’t even
in these barracks any more – in another one of these
awful sheds – I hope not – I find it reassuring
to know you’re close to me.
Thank God, another day is over, this morning
I didn’t think it would ever
end. – Another day like that, and then another
one – how awful! – I wish I was six months older, then
perhaps
this whole agony might already be over. I can’t
go to sleep yet either – I will try to read
– though I know th.[at] I won’t get
beyond the first few lines. But what
am I [scored out: I] to do. I don’t even feel like going for a walk,
to be amongst people. Everything is so happy and
cheerful, it’ll make me even more miserable than
I already am.
Egon, Egon, come back to me soon or I’ll die
from longing!

[1] Egon Schiele trat am 21. Juni in Prag zur Grundausbildung an.

Vollständige Transkription abgedruckt in:
Edith Schiele: „Das Tagebuch. ‚Ich werde dieses Buch nicht Tagebuch heißen, – sondern Trostbuch‘“, in: Zeiten des Umbruchs. Egon Schieles letzte Jahre 1914–1918, hrsg. von Kerstin Jesse/Jane Kallir/Hans-Peter Wipplinger, Wien 2025, S. 50–77 (Ausst.-Kat. Leopold Museum, Wien, 28.03.–13.07.2025).

Courtesy Kallir Research Institute, New York